why text messages?

As the Christmas decorations have been quickly swept away, Shenzhen has entered Chinese New Year mode. Rabbits are popping up everywhere and every type of text message from year in review to greetings are already circulating. On this blog, I have translated text messages because they provide insight into what my Chinese friends feel is worthwhile (funny, insightful, urgent) commentary on society. Indeed, text message culture (短信文化) has been an important factor in many recent social movements (2006, 2007, 2008, and 2009). Indeed, many speculated that the 2010 crackdown on text-porn was a not-so-subtle attempt to tighten censorship controls.

However, simply describing the effects of texting in Chinese cities overlooks an important question: why is texting so popular? Walk down a Shenzhen street and look into hair salons and dress shops, restaurants and convenience stores, any beautician, salesgirl, waiter, and clerk who is not serving a customer is reading or sending a text. On buses and the subway, in cars and yes, in classrooms and business meetings, movie theaters and restrooms, people are texting. Every Chinese New Year the country sets another world record for texts sent for a holiday.

I don’t understand the allure of texting. In part it’s generational; in high school, our thing were three-hour telephone calls. I still enjoy telephone conversations and really enjoy watching the antics of my nieces and nephews when we skype. In part, it’s skill; I do talk faster then I type in English or Chinese. But that’s not all of it. Chinese friends my age have readily adopted texting and regularly send me all sorts of messages. Indeed, setting up a date may involve a series of texts, rather than a phone call. And although part of the allure may be cost – it’s cheap cheap cheap to text – price doesn’t explain why many Chinese not only text, but also purchase services that allow them to text internationally. In other words, folks in Shenzhen are choosing to text more frequently and regularly than I would; indeed, they text in situations that I would either phone, or, frankly not bother. Indeed, in situations where I find texting intrusive, my friends cheerfully read and respond to a text.

And so here’s some cross-cultural speculation du jour: texting has enabled Chinese people to intensify a cultural preference to be in contact with people they care about and it is that moment of contact that is the true message. This desire to be together explains why it is socially necessary to apologize for not seeing a text message and responding immediately. Moreover, I suspect that text messages can grow into social movements precisely because they carry this underlying desire to be [stand] together. In this sense, text messages function as a constant assurance that a relationship is important. Chinese texters confirm this highly desired and desirable sense of solidarity by responding properly to a message. Sometimes that response is texting a smile, sometimes it is going to the restaurant, sometimes it is taking to the street to protest.

As with all speculation about how technology makes, unmakes, and restructures social relationships, the next question is how much quality time is necessary to keep the emotive message of texts resonant. What happens when relationships dissolve into nothing more than text messages? And how much text message-span really is enough to prompt some kind of counter apps? In the meantime, I’m reviewing lists of possible New Year’s messages to choose my contribution to the deluge.

新春佳节不送礼,发条短信祝福你,健康快乐常伴你,好运和你不分离,财神已经跟随你,财源滚滚进袋里,好处全都送给你!(I’m not sending a gift for Spring Festival, I’m sending a text to bless you. May you be healthy and happy. May luck stay with you. May the God of Wealth already accompany you and wealth roll into your pockets. May all good things be given to you!)

snide year’s greetings

it’s that time of year when the snide texts fly… this last one, summarizes thirty years of reform and opening not with a bang, but whimper whimper sigh…

新华社发布最新统计数据:三十年来,升值最快地是住房、墓地、乌纱、古玩和公务员;贬值最快地是职称、文凭、道德、诚信和人民币,惟有友情最保值。民族也日趋增多,新增了月光族、打工族、肯老组、蜗居族、蚁族、骗族、隐婚族、闪婚族、傍官族、小三族、还贷族等!奴隶制有复苏苗头,房奴、车奴、卡奴等已出现。

《最新幸福指数》
家里每人病;牢里没亲人;外头没仇人;圈里没小人;看似没情人!

Xinhua Press has released the latest statistics: these past thirty years, housing, graves, bureaucratic positions, antiques, and functionaries have seen the fastest rise in value; titles, diplomas, morality, trust, and the renminbi have seen the sharpest drop in value. The number of ethnicities has also increased daily. We now have people who spend their entire month’s salary, every month; manual laborers; college graduates who live off their parents, people who live like snails [in small, small houses], educated paupers, liars and cheats, married people who don’t tell anyone they’re married, people who suddenly marry, people who live off of functionaries, lovers, and people who live paying off debts. The slave system has begun to rebound and we have house payment slaves, car payment slaves, and credit card slaves.

“Latest indices of happiness”
No one in the family is sick; no one in jail is a relative; outside no one is an enemy; inside one’s circle no one is out to get you; and it appears that you don’t have a lover!

more global fun


125thst

Originally uploaded by maryannodonnell

have recently received the following message, both on phone and in email, so clearly it’s making the rounds. enjoy this take on national psychologies / international relations. note that the character “人” following a country (as in America people) signifies both people as individuals and people as a national group.

1、American power: I attack whoever I want (美國人的實力:想打誰,就打誰。)
2、Brittish power: I attack whoever America does (英國人的實力:美國打誰,我就打誰。)
3、French power: I attack whoever attacks me (法國人的實力:誰打我,我就打誰。)
4、Russian power: I attack whoever yells at me (俄羅斯的實力:誰罵我,我就打誰。)
5、Israeli power: I attack whoever might be thinking about attacking me (以色列的實力:誰心裡想打我,我就打誰。)
6、Japanese power: I have the US attack whoever is attacking me (日本人的實力:誰打我,我就讓美國打誰。)
7、Chinese power: I yell at whoever attacks me (中國人的實力:誰打我,我就罵誰.)
8、Taiwanese power: I have newspapers yell at whoever attacks me (台灣人的實力:誰打我,我就叫報紙罵誰。)
9、South Korean power: I join the US for military exercizes when I’m attacked (南韓人的實力:誰打我,我就和美國一塊演習。)
10、North Korean power: I attack South Korea whenever anyone displeases me (北朝鮮的實力:誰讓我心裡不痛快,我就打南韓。)

and yes, i am blogging by way of flickr. again.

and an fyi: the official schedule for the fringe festival will be available november 15.

low carbon lifestyles…

the current dearth of sexts hasn’t stopped chinese text message snark. the latest mocks poverty and environmentalism:

现在无房无车无妹子的三无宅男,有了一个新称号——低碳哥。

there’s a new nickname for men without a house, a car and a girl — low-carbon bro.

of note, the “three withouts” in this message are possessions – a house, a car, and a girl. once upon a time in shenzhen, “three withouts” referred to status: no shenzhen hukou, no job, and no home… so an interesting shift in nomenclature. we seem to have gone from seeing the importance of status to seeing the disgrace when one lacks possessions. it could also indicate the extent that those without status are no longer seen at all and the new butts of these jokes are not the truly dispossessed, but unemployed college graduates.

three more text messages

Recent text messages on gaokao blues, the meaning of life, and lived common sense.

高考失意?前途渺茫?[出国通]帮你上加南大名校(免英语),更有机会拿绿卡!6月20日下午两点半招生面试,电话:XXXXX

Gaokao got you down? Future prospects uncertain? [Go abroad connections] will help you get into a famous Canadian University (no English necessary), and have a better chance for a green card! Student interviews on July 20 at 2:30, tel: XXXXX

中国汉子仅有三个,即可涵盖人生要领。尖字既是能大能小,斌字既是能文能武,卡字既是能上能下。真可谓:人生太复杂,三字既道明。

Only three Chinese characters gloss all the important points of a human life. The character for sharp (尖) can be both big (大)and small (小); the character for refinement (斌)can be both cultured (文)and martial (武); the character ka (卡) can go both up (上) and down(下): human life is complicated, three characters make it clear.

把简单是搞复杂是文化,把复杂石膏件大事科学。把明白事搞糊涂是哲学,把糊涂事搞明白是法律。稀里糊涂把人治好的是中医,明明白白把人医死的叫西医。把糊涂人搞明白叫老师,把明白人搞糊涂交领导。

To complicate simple matters is culture, to simplify complicated matters is science. To muddle obvious matters is philosophy, to clarify muddled matters is law. To brainlessly cure a patient is Chinese medicine, to wisely medicate a patient to death is Western medicine. A teacher is someone who straightens out the confused, a leader is someone who confuses those who know what’s what.

taxing fun with (yes!) cell phones…

One of the events being promoted by the Shenzhen Bureau of Taxation is citizen participation in the 3rd National Tax Collection Text Message Publicity Contest (第三届全国税收宣传短信大赛). I hadn’t realized that the first and second contests had come and gone, but the current contest is open until June 30, 2009. The particularly ambitious can also compete in the ring-tone competition and the multi-media message competition (basically flash for phone), examples here and here, respectively.

I have translated the call because it’s all juicy – from the legalize to justify a text message and jingle competition through a starting date on April Fool’s Day to assurances that the lottery for voting participation will be strictly overseen and that the prize money includes taxes… The assumptions written into this competition, the reasons it is necessary, and the form it has taken are themselves exquisite, interesting, and humorous expressions of applied anthropology at its best.

I am also impressed by the ongoing efforts of the Chinese State to modernize its efforts to stay in contact with the Chinese people. However, I do wonder how these messages will be circulated. Will the State pay to send messages to every cell phone in China? Will it target lists of people a la credit card companies? Or will it simply put the winning messages and ring-tones on line, confident that the artistic merit of the winning entries will result in these messages being downloaded and subsequently circulated among circles of friends?

Below, the contest call.

为向纳税人传递税收信息和宣传税收政策,继2007年、2008年成功举办第一届、第二届全国税收宣传短信大赛基础上,国家税务总局办公厅与中国税务报社今年决定联合举办“第三届全国税收宣传短信大赛”   (In order to transmit information about tax collection and policy to tax payers, on the foundation laid by successfully oganizing the first and second National Tax Collection Text Message Publicity Contests in 2007 and 2008, the General Office of the State Administration of Taxation and the National Tax Publishing House today agreed to co-organize the “Third National Tax Collection Text Message Publicity Contest”.)

一、比赛时间2009年4月1日~2009年9月30日。  (Contest dates: April 1, 2009 through September 30, 2009.)

二、比赛形式第三届全国税收宣传短信大赛包括手机短信、彩信、彩铃3种形式。(Contests will be held in text message, multi-media, and ring-tone publicity.)

三、比赛内容手机短信参赛作品题材不限,需与税收相关,要求在70个汉字以内,具有短小(字数少而工整)、精致(有一定表达创造性)、诙谐(有趣味性,易于传播)等手机短信属性。 (There are no restrictions on the subject matter of competition text messages, they should be related to tax collection,  have less than 70 characters, and share the defining features of a text message, such as brevity (few characters and carefully done), exquisitness (with definate expressive creativity), and humor (interesting and easy to disseminate).

四、参赛步骤及办法参赛者将创作的文字短信,用手机发送,移动用户发送至106575020906,联通用户发送至106550105216,电信用户发送至1065901020000,彩信、彩铃作品发送至taxnews@163.com。( To submit your text messages, use your cell phone. China Mobile customers send to 106 575 020 906, Liantong clients send to 106 550 105 216, CITIC clients send to 106 590 102 000. Multi-media messages and ring tones can be sent to taxnews@163.com)

主办单位将定期在中国税网(www.ctaxnews.com.cn)“第三届全国税收宣传短信大赛”站点上发布参赛候选作品,供公众通过发送手机短信在候选短信中进行投票选出上榜短信,最后由大赛评委会通过对短信得票数、创作水平、趣味性和幽默性等方面的综合评比,确定最终获奖作品。(The oganizers will publish contest entries on the “Third National Tax Collection Text Message Publicity Contest” page of the China Tax News website, where the public can vote for their favorite message. Contest judges will decide the winning entries based on the number of votes, creativity, how interesting it is, and humor.)

公众无论发送信息参加作品比赛,还是发送信息参加投票评选,除正常通信费用(手机短信每条0.1元)不另加收任何费用。(Whether members of the public send text messages to enter the contest or to vote on entries, they will only be charged the standard rate for sending a text messege (.1 yuan per message)).

五、评选和奖励办法   1.短信作品奖:一等奖3名,奖金各3000元;二等奖15名,奖金各2000元;三等奖30名,奖金各1000元;纪念奖100名,每名颁发纪念品一份(价值300元)。   2.公众投票参与奖:在公证机关的监督下,评委会从参加投票的公众手机号中抽取公众投票参与奖,其中一等奖1名,奖金2000元;二等奖10名,奖金各1000元;三等奖20名,奖金各500元;纪念奖50名,颁发纪念品一份(价值200元)。(Selection and awards  1. text message prizes: 3 first prizes, each 3,000 yuan; 15 second prizes, each 2,000 yuan; 30 third prizes, each 1,000 yuan; 100 honorable mentions, each a prize worth 300 yuan. 2. public participation awards: under the supervision of an authorized agent, the award committee will draw names out of the telephone numbers of people who participated in the voting.  Among the lottery winners, there will be one first prize, for 2,000 yuan; ten second prizes, each for 1,000 yuan; twenty third prizes, each for 500 yuan; and 50 commemorative awards, each worth 200 yuan.)

以上奖励不能重复获得;奖金和奖品均含税,主办单位工作人员及其家属不得参加竞赛活动。(The prizes cannot be repeated; prize money and awards includes tax; family members and employees of the sponsoring bureaus cannot participate in the competition.)

text message education

the following two text messages recently popped up. they play with two core chinese values – education and proper social relationships. the humor in the first is self-explanatory. in the second, the humor hinges on the multiple meanings of 忽悠 (huyou), a northeastern expression that was introduced into national discourse through the skit, 卖拐 (selling a cane). the comic 赵本山‘s portrayal of a con artist who traded a cane for a bicycle by convincing his mark that he couldn’t walk, let alone ride a bicycle spoofed snake oil salesmen and gullible health nuts alike. the satire also established huyou‘s moral ambiguity; it’s not right to sell snake oil, but if the mark is so willing to buy . . . here note the characterization of 百姓 (the people/comman man).

最大的杀手配顺基地:驾校;最大的失业配顺基地:高校;最大的妓女配顺基地:艺校;最大的流氓配顺基地:警校;最大的腐败配顺基地:党校。

the biggest training ground for assasins: driving school;  the biggest training ground for unemployment: high school;  the biggest training ground for prostitutes: art school;  the biggest training ground for hooligans: police school;  the biggest training ground for corruption: party school.

国家忽悠国家,叫外交;政府忽悠百姓,叫政策;百姓忽悠国家,叫犯罪;领导忽悠百姓,叫号召;百姓忽悠领导,叫捣乱;领导忽悠领导,叫交易;百姓忽悠百姓,叫生意;父母忽悠孩子,叫教育;孩子忽悠父母,叫欺骗;男人忽悠女人,叫调戏;女人忽悠男人,叫勾引;男女互相忽悠,叫爱情;我也忽悠一下,叫祝福;忽悠我的朋友,天天快乐。朋友,天天快乐!

when a country huyous another country, it’s called foreign affairs; when a government huyous the people, it’s called policy; when the people huyou the country, it’s called crime; when a leader huyou‘s the common man, it called an appeal; when the common man huyou‘s a leader, it’s called stirring up trouble; when a leader huyou‘s another leader, it’s called exchange; when the common man huyou‘s another common man, it’s called business; when parents huyou a child, it’s called education; when a child huyous her parents, it’s called lying; when a man huyous a woman, its called flirting; when a woman huyous a man, it’s called seduction; when a man and woman huyou each other, it’s called love; when i huyou, it’s called a blessing; the friends who huyou me are happy everyday. friend, be happy.

Sanlu: more text messages

More text messages, this time on the Sanlu (三鹿集团) scandal. I am not sure if the link will work. It presently doesn’t work in Shenzhen, but may still function elsewhere. The New Zealand dairy company Fonterra owns 43% of Sanlu. (A brief reminder: Sanlu added melamine, an industrial additive to powdered milk formula. Melamine causes kidney stones in children. According to a NY Times report, three babies have died and over 53,000 have been hospitalized due to complications caused by consuming contaminated milk powder.)

In the follow translations, the Chinese comes first and the English second. Black humor indeed.

河南省委书记发来贺电:热烈祝贺河北三鹿给河北人民带来骗子金牌,从此河南人民的骗子称号将拱手相让。

Congratulatory telegram from the Henan Province Party Secretary: Warm congratulations to Sanlu for bringing home to Hebei the gold medal in swindling, from now on the people of Henan yield their title as the People’s swindlers. (note: Henan people are considered the worst swindlers in China.)

安慰省委书记发来贺电:热烈祝贺河北制作毒奶粉,肾结石可比大头娃娃厉害,安慰人民甘败下风。

Congratulatory telegram from the Anhui Province Party Secretary: Warm congratulations to Hebei for producing poisoned milk powder, kidney stones are definitely more lethal than “big headed babies”. The people of Anhui happily concede to Hebei. (note: In March this year, the Fuyang People’s Hospital admitted babies with large, droopy cheeks. Some of these babies weighed less than when they were born. At the time, it was estimated that at least eight babies had died and over seventy babies had been contaminated by fake milk powder, which had been sold at Fuyang wet markets. News reports suggested that many children were not drinking healthy, mother’s milk. Instead, grandparents took care of these children because their mothers were migrant workers. This analysis is worrisome for several reasons: (1) it points to class-based health risks; (2) blames mothers for working when they “should” be at home; (3) exculpates the swindlers by blaming caretakers for not being able to distinguish between fake and real products; and (4) lets the provincial Ministry of Health off the hook for clear regulatory lapses. Anhui officials should thank God for Sanlu. And for the poverty that compels mothers to become migrant workers even before their children are weaned.)

山西省委书记发来贺电:非常感谢河北三鹿,转移了新闻热点,否则,我们的溃堤事故就要由省委书记来辞职了,现在只省长辞职了。谢谢啊。

Congratulatory telegram from the Shanxi Province Party Secretary: Sincere thanks to Sanlu for redirecting media attention, otherwise, our Party Secretary would have had to resign because of the mud slide. Now, only the Governor has to resign. Thank you. (note: On September 8, a mud slide in Xiangfen County, Shanxi buried Yunhe Village. See EastSouthWestNorth for story.)

证监会主席发来贺电:非常谢谢河北三鹿,周二开盘如果再跌,就是由于三鹿引起的中国经济信任危机,不再是我们证监会无能了,非常感谢河北三鹿转移新闻热点,股民的心疼,没有患儿父母的心疼。

Congratulatory telegram from the Chair of the Stock Regulatory Board: Many thanks to Sanlu. If the market continues to open lower on Tuesday, it will be because Sanlu has caused a crisis in economic trust, and not because we are incompetent. Also, thanks for redirecting media attention. Stockholders’ pain holds nothing on the pain of parents’ concern for their children.

伊利蒙牛等各企业发来密电:老田阿,咋整滴?不是说好了少加点吗,怎吗加那吗多呀,看错秤啦?好心情每天!

Yili and Mongolian Cow sent secret telegrams: Old Tian, how . Didn’t we agree to add just a little? How could you add that much? Did you misread the scale? Keep your spirits up! (note: not unexpectedly Melamine has been found in other milk products, including candy bars, and in other brands.)

中国人在食品中完成了化学扫盲,从大米里我们认识了石腊,从火腿里我们认识了敌敌畏,从咸鸭蛋辣椒奖励我们认识了苏丹红,从火过里我们认识了福尔马林,从银耳蜜枣里我们认识了硫磺,从木耳中认识了硫酸铜,今天三鹿又让同胞之道了三聚氰胺的化学作用。

Chinese people have learned about chemistry through food products: from corn we learned about paraffin; from ham we learned about panaplate; from jujubes we learned about sulphur; and from tree fungus, we learned about bluestone. Today, Sanlu taught us the chemical uses of melamine. (note: In May this year, corn was coated with paraffin to make it shiny and more appetizing in Sansui, Guangdong; Panaplate is apparently a trade name for Dichlorvos (2,2-dichlorovinyl dimethyl phosphate), or DDVP, a highly volatile organophosphate, widely used as a fumigant to control household, public health, and stored product insects [definition from: China Environmental Law], although I’m not sure how it got into ham; sulphur has provided longer shelf lives to honey-processed jujubes; bluestone is the trade name of copper sulphate, a fungicide used to control bacterial and fungal diseases of fruit, vegetable, nut, and field crops. For a full list of the very scary toxilogical effects visit the Extension Toxicology Network. We know what melamine does.)
And some puns:

外国人和牛奶结实了,中国人和喝奶结石了。

Foreigners drink milk and become strong, Chinese people drink milk and get kidney stones.

日本人口号:一天一杯牛奶振兴一个民族;中国人的口号:一天一杯牛奶,震惊一个民族。

Japenese slogan: a glass of milk a day strengthens the nation; Chinese slogan: a glass of milk a day shocks a nation.

all you can do is sigh

four battle of the sexes text messages that came strung together like bad faith.

感叹男人:
有才华的长的丑、长的帅的挣钱少、挣钱多的不顾家、顾家的没出息、有出息的不浪漫、会浪漫的靠不住、靠得住的有窝囊。
感叹女人:
漂亮的不下厨房、下厨房的不温柔、温柔的没主见、有主见的没女人味、有女人味的乱花钱、不乱花钱的不时尚、时尚的不放心、放心的没法看。

when it comes to men, all you can do is sigh:
the talented are ugly, the handsome earn next to nothing, the high earners don’t care about their families, those who care about their families have no future, those with a future aren’t romantic, the romantics can’t be relied on, and those who can be relied on are annoying.
when it comes to women, all you can do is sigh:
the pretty don’t cook, those who cook aren’t tender, the tender are clueless, the clued in aren’t feminine, the feminine spend like crazy, the thrifty aren’t fashionable, the fashionable can’t be trusted, those who can be trusted can’t be looked at.

老婆是电视、情人是手机、在家看电视、出门带手机、破产卖电视、发财换手机、偶尔看电视、整天玩手机、电视终身不收费、手机欠费就停机。

a wife is like a television, a lover like a cellphone. you watch t.v. at home, bring your cellphone when you go out. when bankrupt, you sell the t.v., when rich, you change cellphones. you watch t.v. sometimes, play with your cellphone all day. a t.v. is free for life, cellphone service stops if you miss a payment.

三十岁的男人正在学会、抱着同一代唱着同样的爱,四十岁男人已经学坏、抱着下一代唱着迟来的爱,五十岁男人最坏、抱着第三代唱着糊涂的爱。

thirty year old men are just learning to be bad, they embrace someone their own age and sing the same love song. forty year old men have already gone bad, they embrace someone from the next generation and sing a song of belated love. fifty year old men are the worst, they embrace someone their granddaughter’s age and sing a song of messed up love.

做女人一定要经得起谎言、受得起敷衍、忍得主欺骗、忘得了诺言、宁愿相信世上有鬼、也不能相信男人那张破嘴。

to succeed as a woman you have to take lies in stride, put up with indifference, endure being cheated, and forget promises. it’s better to believe in ghosts than in anything uttered by men.

sigh.

狗日的2008

the images from wenchuan continue nonstop. last night, a friend told me her daughter isn’t sleeping because she’s watching the live broadcasts. another told me she’s waiting for another miracle. indeed, many of my friends watch and watch and watch, crying almost everyday. when i hear stories like this, i wonder if earthquake hasn’t been deeply cathartic for many people; this has been a hard year, when doing what one’s supposed to do hasn’t been enough to hold the world together.

so history as text message (and it’s only may!):

狗日的2008
好好过个年吧,遇雪灾了;
好好上个网吧,艳照门了;
好好传递火炬吧,闹藏独了;
发展农村医疗吧,发手足口病了;
买点股票吧,大小非减持了;
坐火车吧,还出轨了;
在家待着吧,还地震了。

dog-fucked 2008

celebrate the new year, and end up snowed under;
go online, and see edisen chen’s pornographic pictures of gillian chung (the yanzhaomen affair);
pass the olympic torch, and tibetan independence supporters riot;
develop rural medical care, and hoof and mouth disease spreads;
buy stocks, and the prices all fall;
take a train trip, and it goes off the rails;
even if you stay at home, an earthquake brings it down.